Leaving to Chicago…
Oh how the tables have turned.
My times to Denver have been replaced with trips to my OG home in IL. Currently driving my parent’s home in IL. And update, I can’t last driving like I used to. But the drive is easier when you have your best friend with. Sadly, I haven’t been writing here as often as I’d like. In the past I would get urges to come here, and lately I haven’t. I’ve been thinking if I should rely on these urges or not. I’ve realized I had less on my plate and a hell of a lot less distractions before I moved. Now that I’m on my own I have plans, hobbies and projects that occupy my time. I don’t have time to be still nor do I make the time to be still. And that there, is key. The older you get the more you become distracted in life. The harder it is to spend time with yourself to introspect and reflect. I’ve been thinking about how much I used to write and reflect and seek answers I had questions to. I don’t think about things like I used to and as much as it was overwhelming, I miss it. It was my time to try and uncover myself. I’m not itching to go back to how things used to be, I’m enjoying this season for what it is. Because all that thinking and reflecting and feeling has brought me here. To just be present and live and maybe not think. But maybe if I can do a little of both in moderation, abundant growth will present itself in due time. Which has me thinking a lot about how much has happened in a year and how much I’ve changed along the way, for the better. I really like myself and who I’ve become and whoever I’m becoming now. I’m sure a year from now I’ll be even more different than before and reflect on all the things I could’ve done different this year, but we’re not there yet. A few weeks ago I thought about my life while in college and how I went about situationships and how I thought I had it all figured out and knew what I was doing. Turns out, I didn’t know shit. Haha. Which brings me to the idea that do we even really know anything? We may think we do in the moment, but looking back we may have a change of heart about our past actions. I guess it’s totally normal. In the moment you do the best you can with the only information and knowledge you have. As time passes, you grow wiser and think differently about life. I guess my point is, life is constantly changing, you along with it. I’m reminding myself to just ride the wave. ;) Nothing big is really happening in life at the moment. Just traveling and enjoying my time in Denver. I still keep in close contact with my family, if not closer. Being away is definitely hard sometimes, at times I find myself thinking about moving to Chicago and what my life would look like there. Truth is I’m not sure what it would look like, but I get the feeling that I don’t belong there if anything, just yet. I think my time in Denver is supposed to happen for a bit, purposeful. After that who knows. My heart yearns for Europe. At least for a year. It would be a blessing if it comes to fruition as I hope. Maybe with a new job, fully remote, amazing pay, great benefits and a caring team. That’s what I want. To be able to live and explore a multitude of countries while I can and having a great job, feeling valued and being mentored. I guess somewhere along the way it’d be nice to build a relationship and fall in love. It’s been in the back of my head more often. I’ve done a better job of admitting it and expressing it to the world. I think I’m making ways and I’m sure it will happen when I meet someone worthy. God’s timing, not mine. I want to meet a gentleman, smart, sophisticated, kind, funny, understanding, caring and emotionally mature or at least self aware. Quite the list. Hahaha. I’m sure they’re out there somewhere. I hope this is the type of person I attract, and I think I do. I don’t know what the wait is for but I’m sure God has his reasons. I hope whatever I’m supposed to focus on within myself I work on. With that being said, I have quite the itinerary for the next month. The concert of the year is tomorrow — Bad Bunny. Ohio for work during the week. Spending the little time I have with friends and family in the city, then Greece! My dream of visiting this beautiful island-filled country is coming true. Later than expected, but nonetheless still happening, God willing! I’ve been feeling more confident in myself and my appearance. Made a headway with healthier habits, I definitely fall off the wagon here and there, but still get back up. I’m excited for this trip and reminding myself to just have fun. Have fun! Be authentically you and have fun! Welcome all with open arms and radiate with positive energy.
That’s all for now. :)
