Dancing with Depression

I contemplated adding these last thoughts to the last story, but didn’t want to take away from the story telling. Or maybe my depression just wanted me to stay depressed. Either way if I had someone like me in their life — they would want me to add this not to the last story, but instead to this new fresh page:

I want to start with a few small things that I have been doing right or starting to do again.

1. Skincare
2. Cleaning my room
3. Laundry
4. Doing my bed
5. Keeping a clean space
6. Talking about uncomfortable things
7. Compassion toward other people
8. Greece group chat

I also want to remember:

1. Have compassion towards yourself, you’re entering a new space that you’ve never let yourself enter before. Acknowledge your feelings and remember that this is new, you are strong, and you will be okay.
2. It’s easy to not feel all the feels, but not feeling anything also lead you to a dark place.
3. This new chapter will be uncomfortable, it does not mean it won’t be worth it.
4. There are blessings on the other side waiting for you.
5. You can be sad, but you can also choose to be happy.
6. Good things take TIME. In those moments where you lack patience don’t ignore the slow growth that has been occurring.
7. A caterpillar does not wonder and ask when it will become a butterfly, it already knows it will become one.
8. Trust, for these new unknowns: you are more prepared than you think
9. You’ve had to say goodbye to so many things, and yet, here you are, still finding peace. Still pursuing growth and wisdom, as you become who you were meant to be.
10. The ability to breathe through this is a miracle all on its own. The ability to be able to keep rising up, morning after morning. After everything you have been through is a sign that even when you were certain you had reached the end, there was more to you. You may rise up slowly some days, but nevertheless, you’re still rising, and day this matters.
11. Event though it’s hard right now. Someday, it will be easier to talk about,. Someday, you will find that while you were tending to a broken heart, you were also learning to be present in ways you had never been present before. You were learning to see this moment as a wide-open hallway right in between those long rows of closed doors. When you look back you will find: in the mornings, you were learning to not only watch the sunrise, but to also feel it on your skin. In the evenings, you were noticing that through the small opening in the blinds, the moonlight still gets in. You were learning that time and time again, somehow, beautiful moments kept finding you. This year ended up surprising you. You learned to breathe, grieve, and heal. You learned to make it through.
12. Realize: you haven’t failed someone because you weren’t able to fix everything for them.

This wave is unlike any other you’ve rode before. Remember that.

Be easy.